Vampire Weekend: Modern Vampires of the City

This week we're going to tackle the new Vampire Weekend album Modern Vampires of the City. Of course by tackle I mean praise but mock ruthlessly at the same time.
Shall we?
Okay so first thing is first. This is the most misleading title and album cover ever. Ever.  If you're going to name your album Modern Vampires of the City and have some creepy black and white and foggy picture of the city, the album should sound like the main songwriter picked up a nasty absinthe habit in the last year and has been carrying a tattered copy of Junky by Burroughs in his back pocket. Granted I've never read the book and the only time I tried absinthe I was so drunk it may have actually been peppermint schnapps but this album sounds like he had parents that played a lot of world music and Graceland by Paul Simon.
I do like this album though. It's way better than that last thing they put out. The one where the first song was about horchata. Thats the most unrock song you could write.  Songs like that make me dislike New York.
They do a couple of pretty stupid things on this one though. The main one being the song where he does this spoken word thing where he talks about falafel. Yes, I'm totally serious. Okay, listen up Vampire Weekend. There is a strict rule about doing a spoken word bit in a song. It must be an excerpt from either the Satanic Bible or a passage from the Bible that talks about the devil and/or the end of the world.  Also the voice must sound like it's Satan or Johnny Cash.  I'm not sure how to describe the voice on the Vampire Weekend song though.  Douche bag?  Basically he sounds like the kind of guy that would recommend a vegan restaurant when you're going to a city known for a meat product. Let me explain:
Me: I'm going to Milwaukee this weekend. Know where I should eat?
Vampire Weekend: Yeah! There's this vegan cafe you gotta check out.
Me: *blinks* (slaps Vampire Weekend in the face, drives to Milwaukee, eats bratwurst after a tour at the Miller Brewery. Stops at the Brat Stop in Kenosha on the way back home).
Get what I'm sayin'?
BUT...the album is good.  In fact, friends of mine that made fun of me for liking the first album now talk about how amazing this one is (I'm not going to say this is irony because usually whenever I say something is ironic I'm using the word incorrectly and I'm sure this is probably the case here).  People will say it's more "mature" and it is.  They've evolved as musicians and songwriters and the overall production makes it a more elaborate album.  The second album failed because it was boring (and had songs about Mexican dairy drinks) but this album is not boring.  Yes, it's irritating but thats because I judge them based on a stereotype that most would say is unfounded (but it's not really) about the city these knuckleheads come from. I still like the album.  I just shake my head at some of the lyrics.  Also in all fairness,  I say the album sounds nothing like the title or cover suggests; the last 2 songs actually do sound what I would have thought the whole album sounds like.  Also there is a track that sounds like a Smashing Pumpkins bside from the Mellon Collie or Adore days.  So I guess thats a third song that lives up to the album title.
Anyway, I like this album.  I like Vampire Weekend (I even played a game of pool with them once.  Well, I played the drummer and the bass player...okay I sat next to the pool table they were playing at...I think I told them I liked their album).  And I actually like New York.  Chicago is better of course but New York is a solid little town.
Vampire Weekend is from New York right?  If not, I need to fire my fact checker.

The Palma Violets 180: Having an Organ Player Doesn't Mean You Sound Like the Doors. This is a Good Thing.

So we’re going to kick off this review series I've promised you all with something we all love and that is a band from the U.K.

I had read a review of this new band the Palma Violets and their debut album 180 (this is where some smartass will point out the fact they’re not new and the album came out last year or something in the U.K.. It’s new here buddy, and as you can tell by the delays in this blog, time is not something I have a lot of these days so scouring the British music scene isn’t at the top of my list) and the couple of tracks I heard sounded pretty solid so I picked it up.
At first, I wasn’t impressed.  It’s basically what you’ve come to expect from indie music (is that term really applicable these days?  Does it exist?) which is a low fi, garage rock sound.  Heard it.  Been there, done that. Right?  Well, I continued to listen to it and the more and more I did, the more and more I liked it.  Actually that’s an understatement.  I rocked the hell out of this album.  There are a couple of duds in the middle but even those have grown on me (they’ve got this stupid song called Chicken Dippers.  I don’t know if I don’t like the song or if I just hate the title.  Horrible).  But the album starts really strong with an opener that is a great bar sing along type of song, followed by 2 more really good tracks that will get even the guy that doesn’t drink to pick up an air guitar.  The last 3 songs do a great job of closing the album (this is something we might be losing with the invent of itunes and demise of the record.  The closing track of an album.  Love that shit).  Also, with the new music I’ve been buying I’ve done it all on LP. This album sounds much different on LP versus MP3.  Don’t just listen to it on your iPod, throw it on the turn table and crank it to 11.  The drums and bass sound like they might be in the next room.
So this sound I described earliar of low fi, garage rock got popular over here with the Strokes 12 years ago or so and over in the U.K. got popular with the Libertines.  Because it’s such a simple sound it’s very easy to sound like one of those 2 bands depending on your accent and get kind of boring after a while.  Hence why nobody listens to the Strokes anymore (including the Strokes themselves) and why the Libertines broke up (it’s worth noting that a signifgant amount of crack may have played a role in the latter).  But the Palma Violets have found a way to make the album sound different from what we’ve (I) come to expect and I think it’s mainly due to the vocals.  I think they somehow make it so it balances the right amount of sloppy, chaotic, trainwreck sound that makes rock fun but gives it something more solid or pretty.  Does that make sense?
Okay lets try this.  One of the reviews said this: “Violets play proudly sloppy rock‘n’roll that unapologetically draws from the most obvious sources imaginable for a young band from London: the Clash, the Velvets, the Doors, a little Springsteen, Oasis’ Definitely Maybe, Clinic’s Internal Wrangler, the first couple of Libertines singles.”  This came from Pitchfork, which tends to be one of my main sources for new music and the bane of my existence at the same time.  This is wrong.  Wrong, wrong, wrong. Fucking wrong.  Where the hell does this album sound like anything from Definitely Maybe? I love Oasis as much as the next guy.  Actually, no that’s wrong.  I probably love Oasis more that any guy in a 20 block radius of my home and love bands that sound like Oasis.  Palma Violets sound nothing like Oasis.  We’re they influenced.  Of course they were.  They’re fucking British!  Any person from England born in the last 30 years has been influenced by Oasis.  Wonderwall is like the unofficial national anthem over there.  But they don’t sound like Oasis.  And the Doors?  The fucking Doors?  Why because they have an organ player?  So basically if Prince Harry put out an album of church music strictly played on the organ, Pitchfork would give it a 5 and say it sounds like Oasis meets the Doors.  The Palma Violets sound nothing like the Doors.  You know why?  Because the Doors are horrible and the Palma Violets are not.  You don’t just throw comparisons to the Doors around okay?  You only save that for when a band is truly shitty and you want to warn someone.
Okay, lets circle back to what I was trying to point out before before I went off track (see above (sloppy, chaotic, fun, vocals, blah blah).  Here’s an accurate description of the Palma Violets album 180.  Imagine if Iggy Pop and Ian Curtis from Joy Division somehow figured out a way to have a baby together and it was a boy (this would be impressive on many levels).  Lets say this boy then somehow figured out a way to become the lead singer of either Luna or Yo La Tengo.  Then you would have the Palma Violets 180.
See that’s all you had to say Pitchfork.
Check it out.  It’s good shit and I think they’re at Lollapalooza this year so you’ve got no excuse not to see them.  Unless of course you’re like me and not going to Lollapalooza.  Then you have a valid excuse.  

Ass, Gas or Grass Nobody Rides Free

For the last few years I've been listening mainly to country music from the 50's, 60's and 70's, Bad Company and punk bands from the 90's I used to listen to in high school.  This has resulted in me not knowing a damn thing about any music out right now and an unhealthy consumption of PBR.  Both of which end with me sounding like a complete idiot when I'm in a social gathering.
So I made an conscious effort to read some reviews and seek out some new music.  Some are bands I had never heard of and some are new albums by bands I've listened to in the past.  In turn I will churn out some of my own reviews over the next few weeks that will be filled with what you've come to expect from Coetime at the Apollo.  Witty commentary that makes you go " Wow, that was enlightening and entertaining.  I can tell this guy genuinely cares about this crap."  or "I hate this guy.  Thats 5 minutes of my life I'll never get back."  Either way, I'll consider it a win for me.
So tune in over the next few weeks, have few laughs, maybe shed some tears and follow a 34 year old man as he slowly realizes he is no longer in touch with the music of today and blames it all on 20 something hipsters who have a stupid fascination with the 80's fashion trends and crappy 90's R&B.

*the title of this blog obviously has nothing to do with the subject matter.  It's just a phrase that has always cracked me up and I saw it on a bumper sticker recently. As a result have had the song "Ride the Wind" by Poison in my head ever since (4 days now).