Chinese Democracy: You're Really Pushing This Patience Thing Axl...

It took Axl Rose 14 years to write, record (and according to many reports re-record…and then re-record again), and release Chinese Democracy. Well, guess what Axl, I don’t know if this was the reaction you were going for, but it took me over two years to actually comprehend this mess of an album and then finally appreciate it. It then, using your playbook as a reference, took me another two months to write this blog post. Well, actually it was two months of me telling my girlfriend I was going to write about it. The actual writing part probably clocked in at a few hours.
I bought this album the day it came out. I think the words “Chinese” and “Democracy” were in the first sentence I said that day. I could not wait to hear this album. (Side note: If record stores still opened up at midnight before an album came out, I would have been there. Apparently the only thing that warrants stores opening at midnight is a new Harry Potter. It used to be stoners and their Camaros in the parking lot waiting for the new Metallica album. Now’s it’s soccer moms in their minivans. Sad. ) As I was on the bus going to buy it I couldn’t help but kind of understand how Rose probably felt finally releasing this album. I was 30 and had spent over 10 years waiting for this album called Chinese Democracy. Fourteen years for a new Guns album, almost half of my life! What would it be like to live in a world where Chinese Democracy actually existed? I think I blacked out trying to fathom the concept, because the next thing I knew I was walking out of Best Buy with a copy of Chinese Democracy. Just as I had the first day Use Your Illusion I and II came out, I raced home to listen to it. (Well, it was a little different. I had to have my mom drive me to the record store for Illusion.) I listened to it non-stop for probably the better part of a week. After the hype, the anticipation, and submerging myself in it, I told everyone my thoughts: it sucked.
There is no way anyone could expect this album to be better than Appetite for Destruction or even Use Your Illusion. You really would have no place to even expect it to sound like Guns N’ Roses. Axl Rose was the only remaining member from the original core lineup of GN’R. He was one of the main songwriters, yes, but the two that most influenced the music side of it were Slash and Izzy Stradlin. Slash and Izzy were the Aerosmith and Stones-loving guitarists who shaped the rhythm and sound of the original Guns. Axl added the bombastic elements of Elton John and Queen. The “artist” element, if you will. Which is odd, since Axl also seemed like the most homophobic of the group based on the song One in a Million. The rest of GN’R is what made that raunchy, sexy, rock n’ roll sound on Appetite. Without them…you get Chinese Democracy.
To say this album is over-produced is a gross understatement. There are layers upon layers upon layers of guitar, and every time Rose isn’t singing there is some kind of guitar solo. And speaking of singing, on most of the tracks Rose is singing the same line in different tones. Oh, and there‘s that whole thing of it costing somewhere around 13 million dollars to make. A hefty part of which I’m assuming went to the chicken coop that was constructed for Buckethead to record in. (I would have killed to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation.) But when you recruit a guitar player who has never been seen without wearing a kabuki mask and a KFC bucket on his head, you can’t complain. You just build it.
Buckethead was one of the rotating cast of guitarists. I think there were four or five different people that played guitar for the album, some leaving and coming back later. Three different drummers came and went, so you had a rhythm section that was constantly changing, aside from Tommy Stinson, who stayed on the whole time as the bass player. Paul Westerberg will never let him live that one down. Plus, everyone from Moby to Shaquille O’Neal was supposedly on the album at one point. So it seems that there was never a direction for how the album was supposed to sound…which is what it sounds like…and is part of the reason that now, 2 years later I’m singing this albums praises.
It’s obvious Axl Rose was on a big industrial and electronica kick when he wrote a lot of this. However, that can’t surprise anyone since one of his most popular pieces of clothing on the Use Your Illusion tour was a Nine Inch Nails T-Shirt (the others being a kilt, an umpires vest, a feather boa, and an N.W.A. hat) so we knew he was starting to get into something other than what influenced the previous Guns N’ Roses albums…that, or he was always into it and simply fired the rest of the band for constantly giving him shit about his love of Front 242… Regardless of the influence and the overall absurdity of everything surrounding the creation of Chinese Democracy, it is a grand and epic album, and you have to appreciate that, simply because of the fact that nobody makes an album like that anymore. You also have to appreciate the fact that Axl Rose is such a nutjob. Say what you will but Rose does not ever apologize for anything, including taking 14 years to release the most bloated album of all time. The reason for this is that he believes he has nothing to apologize for. Axl Rose isn’t a character. Axl Rose is Axl Rose. And based on what I’ve read, he’s always been that way.
Axl Rose is the reason why anyone bought Chinese Democracy. He’s one of the few real rockstars left, and that’s why an album that didn’t have any of the other original members, that took an obscene amount of time to come out, and that we all knew could not be nearly good enough to justify the wait, debuted at #3 on Billboard. There is just something so badass and intriguing about him that people still love him no matter what. Think about it. It is a known fact that GN’R shows start like, 3 hours late, and might very well end after 2 songs. BUT THEY STILL SELLOUT. Axl Rose has repeadlty had incidents that involve him beating up women. BUT SCARLETT JOHANSSON HANGS OUT WITH HIM UNTIL 4AM AT A CLUB IN NEW YORK , RESULTING IN HER LEAVING HER HUSBAND RYAN REYNOLDS WHO, LETS FACE IT, IS MUCH BETTER LOOKING THAN AXL ROSE THESE DAYS. (There isn’t any documentation that the reason that Johansson and Reynolds divorced is because of Axl Rose. However, if a few months after hanging out with Axl Rose in the wee hours of the morning you leave your husband there’s got to be a connection, and I’m sure Ryan Reynolds punches a wall every time Sweet Child O’ Mine is played at the bar.)
So I’m singing a different tune about Chinese Democracy 2 years later. I guess I’m telling people this because it’s easy to just write this album off without a second chance (or maybe a fifth or sixth). But you really should. I feel strongly about this. It’s not Appetite for Destruction, it’s not Lies, it’s not Use Your Illusion. Hell, it’s not even the Spaghetti Incident? It’s Chinese Democracy and it’s awesome because of both the high points and the lows. It’s all over the internet so it won’t cost you anything to give it another try.
Here are my favorite tracks:
Chinese Democracy: When the chorus kicks in you might punch the person next to you in the face. Just a warning.
Shacklers Revenge: Even better chorus but this time you just want to pump your fist and step on the gas. Plus, at the 2:18 mark of the song there is one of the most exaggerated guitar solos ever, with this background noise I can’t describe, but love. Might be my favorite song on the album
Street of Dreams: One of the two songs on the album that sounds the closest to an old Guns N’ Roses song. Mainly due to Rose’s vocals. They had to have been recorded in 1999 because there is no way his voice can still do that now. If I’m wrong, Axl I apologize. Also the guitar solo sounds more like something Slash would have played. Slower and bluesier. (I don’t think that’s an actual word but I’m allowed to take certain liberties with the English language in this blog.)
Catcher in the Rye: Definitley the poppiest track on the album. I’m not sure if Axl is trying to compare his 40+ self to Holden Caulfield, but I wouldn’t put it past him. The song has a good “Na,Na, Na” bridge that goes into an ending that could only be described as “soaring”…yes, “soaring.”
I.R.S.: The second song that sounds like it might have been written by the original Guns N’ Roses. The most vintage Axl Rose vocals on the album and a good heavy guitar riff. This song sounds like it’s about his large amount of legal issues or something about a past girlfriend. Granted, my tax knowledge starts and ends with H&R Block, but I’m not sure where the Internal Revenue Service would help in this case. I like to believe this song is also about Slash somehow.
Madagascar: This was one of the songs I was most looking forward to hearing. GN’R played a bit of if when they did the surprise appearance on the MTV awards (which was such a big deal to me that I believe I called at least three people to turn on their TV. The only other time I did this was when I called a good friend of mine to tell him that Dawson finally slept with Joey on Dawson’s Creek.) The opening orchestral part makes you think this was supposed to be the biggest song on the album, like November Rain, but somewhere it kind of loses that. The whole song sounds like it’s building up to something that never happens. Still great though.
Prostitute: The other song that might be my favorite on the album and was the one next to Madagascar that I was looking forward to hearing the most. I remember reading an article in the late 90’s where someone was saying that Rose had been struggling in the studio with this song saying it was similar to the song Coma on Use Your Illusion I. That song was one of my original favorites from that album so I spent the next 10 plus years waiting to hear it. I think Rose wanted Madagascar to be this album’s November Rain, but personally I think this track is it. To me it sounds like Rose might have been listening to a lot of Smashing Pumpkins at the time he wrote this one. Which is fine. So was I. It’s the perfect song for the album to end on. I don’t know if prostitute is a metaphor for how Rose felt about himself, or if it’s about an actual prostitute he knows (either is quite plausible,) but the first lines of the song pretty much sum up the whole Chinese Democracy experience and the last 15 years of Guns N’ Roses.
“Seems like forever, and a day. If my intentions are misunderstood, please be kind. I’ve done all I should”
Don’t worry Axl, I get it. I was wrong and you were right. This is exactly the album you were supposed to make. I understand now and I’ll see you in another 10 years brother…but hopefully with Slash, Izzy, Duff, and Steven (Matt Sorum will be fine also but I’m pulling for Adler).

Coetime at the Apollo Best Albums of 2010

Wow. This year was not good for Coetime at the Apollo was it? 2 posts? One entirely devoted to the Gin Blossom's? Sorry everyone, guess it's just been a busy year.
But what better way to end this year of Coetime at the Apollo than the ever famous "Best of" list?
Last year I went on and on about how nothing good came out in 2009 and how I was a huge Buckcherry fan. Well, this year I'm still a Buckcherry fan but I felt a lot of good music came out this year. Sadly I'm not sure what it is because I didn't listen to it. This is no fault of the music industry or the music thats out there. It's because I'm lazy and my internet connection prevented me from illegally downloading music. Plain and simple.
My plan for this year is to start buying vinyl (records...not pants). I think that will somehow make me start paying attention to new music. Or maybe it will just help me bond with people in skinny jeans.
Anyway lets wrap up 2010 with the Best Albums of 2010 according to yours truly.

Drum roll please...

1.) The National High Violet-While I like their previous two albums more than this one it's still my favorite of the year and spent the most time in my head. Side note: Blood Buzz Ohio was my anthem for the summer and might be one the best song titles ever
2.) Justin Townes Earle Harlem River Blues-I discovered Justin Townes Earle at the start of the year and got to see him a couple times in concert. He might very well be my favorite songwriter currently. On this album he leans more toward Springsteen meets Buddy Holly than Hank Williams like his previous albums. Check out the track "Rogers Park"
3.) Surfer Blood Astro Coast-Basically the new Weezer and awesome as hell. Saw them at Pitchfork and felt old as hell. Love the last track Catholic Pagans.
4.) Alkaline Trio This Addiction- I didn't even know this album was out until a month after it's release. I'm also surprised that the title track has not been used in a commercial for Celebrity Rehab. Usually when a band says their album is a return to their original sound I roll my eyes but the trio actually comes pretty close on this album. Basically this should have been the album they put out after From Here to Infirmary.
5.) Band of Horses Infinite Arms-I think this album got bad reviews but I like it. What do I know though...
6.) Titus Andronicus The Monitor-Any time a band puts out a concept album about the Civil War I'll support it. Had never heard any of their stuff before this one.
7.) Arcade Fire The Suburbs-Was I the only one that thought this album was really long? I like it though.
8.) Girl Talk All Day-Another album where me and thousands of teenagers agree. This guy is like Rainman with music. I don't know how he puts all of this stuff together. Gotta check out the part where he has ODB rhyming over Radiohead.
9.) Drive by Truckers The Big To Do- This album seemed to lack something but I still enjoyed it. If you like Drive by Truckers you'll like it.
10.) Vince Neil Tattoos and Tequila- Vince Neil doing a bunch of covers and a few originals (that were written by someone else). 12 year old me would have put this album at number 1. 32 year old me puts it at number 10 and is tempted to place it at number 7...


So thats it everyone. It wasn't pretty but that was the year in music for C.O.E.

I think I've made this promise before but there will be more written for Coetime at the Apollo. So keep checking back because even if there isn't anything new this shit is hilarious and worth rereading.

Talkin' 'Bout My Gin-eration

Back by popular demand folks!

Sorry for the hiatus but I just wanted to make sure you were all paying attention.
So on to more important things …lets discuss the Gin Blossoms.

Just hear me out here.

The Gin Blossoms came out at a great time in music history, and that’s because at that time , people still listened to the radio for music and Best Buy just started selling CD’s for like, 8 bucks cheaper than Sam Goody.

Now I’m not going to kid myself or anybody else out there and claim that the early 90’s were the golden age of radio. Fuck, that’s the farthest thing from the truth. At that time the station that was playing the Gin Blossoms was going to follow it up with 1 of the following songs: Creep by Radiohead, Loser by Beck, That Crash Test Dummies song that was sometimes called the Campbell Soup Song, or Mr. Jones by the Counting Crows.

Now I’m not saying that is wasn’t a great age because of the quality of the music but because those 5 songs were the only fucking songs they played! And since CD’s were so much cheaper at Best Buy we took a gamble on blowing the only money we had on an entire album from which we had only heard one song.

Lets loop back to the Gin Blossoms shall we?

Why am I devoting my comeback blog entry to the Gin Blossoms? I’ll tell you why:

1.)Because one of my favorite stories to tell is how the Gin Blossoms played a sports bar in my hometown like 10 years ago and skipped out on their tab at the Outback Steakhouse before their gig (my friend’s sister was their server, so it’s true.) and

2.) because Hey Jealousy is one of the best songs of all time.

I have multiple friends that agree with me on this (well maybe I’m the only one that puts it above anything Mozart ever did but they agree it’s good) While it’s no Love Song (see my previous post on Tesla’s masterpiece), it’s pretty fucking good. And it’s not good because of its artistic merit. And it’s not good because it’s a technical piece of music or because it broke down barriers. It’s not even that it’s good in its simplicity.It’s a good song today for the same reason it was a good song then.

Any one of us could have written that fucking song.

Seriously, if I was able to actually write music, the first thing I’d write would probably sound something like that song! Hey Jealousy is a song we can all relate to! I mean seriously, that whole song plays out like a conversation I had every weekend of my teens (and maybe into my 20th year before I could get into bars.)

One of my friends: What are we going to do tonight?
Me: We could drive around this town. Let the cops chase us around.

Okay, so the conversation wasn’t exactly like that but it wasn’t too fucking far from it.

And the line “If you don’t expect too much from me you might not be let down”? Jesus Christ! That’s like the slacker mantra! Which is what we all were!

I hate to break it to you folks but if you graduated from high school between 1993 and 1998, this is the anthem of our generation. We’d probably all like to think it was something cooler like a Pavement song, or hell, we’d probably even settle for Beck. But no, it was the Gin Blossoms Hey Jealousy.

Think I’m wrong? Listen to it again. Think about riding around with your friends or by yourself right before summer break, smoking cigs, listening to the radio, and trying to figure out what to do that night.

It’s okay; at least it wasn’t that song “Detachable Penis”

2009: The Year in Music (a.k.a. I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed.)

2009 has come to an end and leaves in its wake a year of shitty music. Sorry, but someone had to say it. Inevitably people will disagree and talk about all the great music that came out this year - but this is my blog, and in my world, it sucked.
I usually have a top 10 list of favorite albums and songs by year’s end, but I’m struggling this time around. Based on my itunes and last fm page the only thing in my top 10 that was new this year is Cymbals Eat Guitars album Why there are Mountains which is what I would put down as my favorite album of the year.
I think after that would be the Avett Brothers album I and Love and You which I got into late this year but have been playing the hell out of for the last month or so.
Third is going to the Julian Casablancas solo album (see a few posts back. You’ll like it)
Fourth is going to the Japandroids album Post-Nothing. I saw a little of this band for the first time this summer at the Pitchfork Festival and liked the little that I caught. Sadly, I left after one song because of the hipster/hippie right in front of me that kept waving a sunflower the size of Gandalf’s walking stick in the air and in my face (I swear and hope to God that’s the last Lord of the Rings reference I ever make. I kind of feel like I should kick my own ass on principle).
The number five spot is going to a band I discovered this year called Dusty Rhodes and the River Band. First, because any band named after a professional wrestler is pretty fuckin’ cool in my book. Second, this band is badass live. I caught them opening for Art Brut and although I have an opening band curse where every one I see tends to suck, these guys were great. Fun as hell. Their album Palace and Stage is number five of 2009.
Now here’s something frightening. Apparently, the 4th new band I’ve listened to this year was fucking Buckcherry. Now, I know Buckcherry has been around for like 10 years or more - and yes, I was aware of their existence, but I only realized how awesome they were this year (Go ahead and judge me prick. You and I both know Buckcherry is awesome. I’m just brave enough to admit it). And while I will openly admit that they rule, I am shocked and somewhat appalled at how much I’ve listened to them this year.
So I guess that’s it for 2009 for me. Five albums worth mentioning. I guess I liked the Real Estate and Girls albums. And I did eventually warm up to the new Arctic Monkeys album Humbug so I guess those 3 tie for the number 6 spot. Oh yeah, the new Wilco was good too. Put that at six and then a 3 way tie for 7.
So it looks something like this:
1.) Cymbals Eat Guitars Why There Are Mountains
2.) Avett Brothers I and Love and You
3.) Julian Casablancas Phrazes for the Young
4.) Japandroids Post-Nothing
5.) Dusty Rhodes and the River Band Palace and Stage
6.) Wilco Wilco the Album
7.) Tie: Real Estate Real Estate, Girls Album, and Arctic Monkeys Humbug
8.) The entire Buckcherry catalog.
I’m hopeful that 2010 will be better. I’m already looking forward to the new Vampire Weekend in January and the new Midlake in February so that’s a good start. Maybe Noel Gallagher will put out his solo album this year.
I would also like to take the time to say this. Animal Collective and Grizzly Bear are good, but way overrated. You and I both know this. Accept it; you’ll feel better.
Thanks for reading Coetime at the Apollo and Happy New Year.

All You Need Is...Love Song by Tesla

The following three bands make my list of the most underrated bands ever: The Kinks, Thin Lizzy, and...Tesla. Yes, fucking Tesla. Now let me explain myself here.

Tesla for some reason gets lumped into the category of hair metal but really was nothing like the rest of their peers (main reason: while most of those bands were filled with pretty boys, the bass player and drummer of Tesla might be the two ugliest dudes that have ever picked up musical instruments). Tesla was a hard rock band in the truest sense of the genre. The lead singer (Jeff Keith) has one of the best rock voices. (I'm a firm believer that the best voices are gravelly and scratchy. Hence why Liam Gallagher and Rod Stewart rule…but I digress…)

There are 3 albums I vividly remember hearing for the first time and being blown away. Appetite For Destruction by GN'R, Nevermind by Nirvana, and Mechanical Resonance by Tesla. My older brother played it for me when I was 8 and I remember he had somehow gotten an advanced copy (which actually boggles my mind now that I think about it. How the hell did my 14 year old brother with no connection to the music industry end up with a promo of Tesla's first album?)

All things aside, the real focus of this entry is that Tesla is one of the most underrated bands ever because they wrote one of the best songs of all time: Love Song.

I do not care what you say. Unless you agree with me, you are wrong. American Pie, Freebird, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Bohemian Rhapsody, Strawberry Fields...they got nothin' on Love Song. This song is amazing. Starts off with a slow classical guitar solo (totally stolen from Dee by Randy Rhoads but whatever...it's homage) and then goes into a slow ballad-type intro, followed by two guitar solos (Frank Hannon and Tommy Skeotch represent) and then blows up with a huge fist-pumping chorus that proclaims "Love will find a way." How great is that? It's fucking triumphant! Hopeful! Love will find a way, damn it!

Now I'm not going to lie here. I have never listened to another Tesla album after their third studio album Psychotic Supper. All I know is that at some point they made an album called Bust a Nut that had a picture of a walnut in a vice grip or something on the cover. But if my brother ever somehow manages to get his hands on an advanced copy of a new Tesla album (which would probably be even more mind-boggling now) I'd definitely give it a listen.

A History Lesson for the Hipsters

There are many different types of albums out there in the world. "Well of course there are," you say. "Rock, Rap, Country, some kind of electronic music that will be out of date 3 months after it is released (don't worry though, it'll be retro 8 months after that and will be played at college parties for the next 12 years.) I'm talking about a specific type of album that some bands make. Not every band has this type of album, and not all of the bands that do have good ones. Some of them though...are the greatest albums ever made. I'm talking about the drug album. The one that was inspired by something that can only be legally obtained with a stolen prescription pad.
Recently I've rediscovered one of my favorite albums of this category, This is Hardcore by Pulp. For those of you that don't know, Pulp was huge in the UK during the Britpop scene and had very brief success here in the U.S. (however, as of late hipsters across the country have embraced Jarvis Cocker and his solo work. Good for you hipster-douche. Much cooler than back in '98 when you were embracing Marilyn Manson t-shirts and Korn CD's.)
The album came out in 1998 and is to me the last Britpop album. While it was given good reviews by the critics and went to number 1 in the U.K. it didn't do much here...which is a shame because it is great from start to finish.
Why do I call it a "drug album"? Well, the first track is over 5 min long, the first single off the album is over 6 min long, 90% of the songs make a drug reference, and one track that is over 8 minutes long spends 5 minutes and 30 seconds building up to less than 2 minutes of music. While I've never had the pleasure of a cocaine-fueled psychotic episode, I completely plan on this album blaring if I do. In short, this album is incredible.
I love the different layers of guitar, the bass, and the orchestra that keeps popping up in songs throughout the album (another sign of a drug album). There is also something about the drums on the album that sound incredible to me. Especially on the track Sylvia. There is just a really cool groove throughout the album. And of course you can't ignore the incredible voice of Jarvis Cocker. Narrating the story of his life going out of control, he sounds like David Bowie on one track and Leonard Cohen the on the next. It's a pop album that you can dance and pump your fist to, but at the same time, it's dark as shit.
Have you ever had a party at your house where at the end of the night you've had way too much fun, you're way too drunk, way too tired, and you just want to tell everyone to get the hell out of your house? That's This is Hardcore.
Favorite Tracks
The Fear
TV Movie
A Little Soul
Sylvia

I Still Want to Punch You in the Balls, Julian Casablancas

So I thought this blog would be me writing about whatever it is I'm listening to at the time and that it would be things that have been out for quite sometime because I wasn't up on new music anymore. Low and behold, I've been hooked on a new album for the last couple of days! Granted it's a solo album by a guy whose band really hasn't been hip in something like 6 years, but whatever, it's a new album. Put me on the board.
So in 2001 I was like a lot of Strokes fans. While being completely blown away with their music I also wanted to give every single one of them a cock punch. Well, maybe not the bass player. He seemed pretty harmless...but yeah, aside from being annoying I loved the Strokes and listened to the album constantly. I even thought the second album was great as well, which I'm pretty sure was considered a failure. The third album though, I think is pretty much destined to spend the rest of eternity as the "i didn't even know they made a third album" album. Which is good, because it's pretty bad.
So, like most Strokes fans, I pretty much wrote them off as a band I would never seek out again, nor did I care to. Then somehow I stumbled across the new solo album, Phrazes for the Young from lead singer Julian Casablancas.
Son of...
this album is good. I mean, honestly, it's awesome.
If you never liked the Strokes, then don't bother - because it sounds like a Strokes album a lot of the time - but that's mainly due to the fact that Casablancas has a very distinct vocal sound. Musically, it's kind of all over the place, ranging from the signature Strokes guitar sound and fist-pumping choruses to 80's synth and drum machine beats that wouldn't sound out of place at a dance club. I'll even go out on a ledge and say Julian Casablancas does a good job at channeling Lou Reed on a couple tracks. Yeah, that's right.
I forgot how much I liked the dudes vocals. Some people have whiskey voices; Casablancas has a beer voice. Slurring and crooning his way through a song in a fashion that only 7 Budweisers could create.
I read an interview with Casablancas where he said the Strokes are planning on getting together in the coming year to work on a new album but he didn't seem that optimistic. I'll tell you what Julian. Don't bother. Using this and that last train wreck of an album you guys put out as a reference, I say stay with the solo career. Hopefully you tour and come to Chicago, because I'll be there. Can't say I won't want to still give you a cock punch though...
Favorite tracks:
Out of the Blue
Left & Right in the Dark
Ludlow St.
Glass